Nothing, I’m in a writer’s block. In the end I want to be a comedic writer of sorts. I’m extremely sarcastic and have a beard so I feel I’m half way there already! I do freelance writing in my spare time and thus far, big surprise, it hasn’t paid much. What do you expect? I’m sure every writer knows what they’re getting into. I’m not a great writer yet, so don’t expect perfect grammar for all you Nazi’s out there.

Random holy citizen,”Diz guy! He made eh the miztakes! Schlechter Schriftsteller!”
I’m sitting there going, “Sir, please stop eavesdropping on my laptop screen”

I have some material for a stand up. Hell, maybe I could use it some day. Probably not though, you know imagination does 90% of the work in your head that you fail to realize. Reality doesn’t like to chime in until you’re right in the mix point of no return kind of deal.

Reality in it’s office with a button like..”Not yet..don’t push that button…he’s almost completely confident! Oh this will be good! Damn! I love my job.. tralalala…”

You sit there, with the mic in your hand on open mic night. You chose the hardest song you can possibly think to sing because if you pulled it off it would make you look cool in front of all your friends and that cute guy or girl you were trying to impress.

In you’re head you go, “Chea…I’m about to kill it..no big deal..bet you didn’t know that about me huh?”

Then reality hits you on the very first note of the song, you can’t hold a tune to save your life and the only thing you can think to save you is running out the bar but you’re so frightened you bring the mic with you cord and all its glory. You’re friends running after you like..”Stop!..wait…you weren’t that bad…only two people had strokes….can we have the mic back???!! Damnit Joel! Every time!” How do you come back from that? “Ah man, you know that global warming got me running at night now a days!” You sucker punch them, knock them out… run away again until they realize just not to ask you anymore about incidents like that. You still can’t sing…

Some people are funny, some people just aren’t and that’s all right. They say it’s not what you say but how you say it. Sometimes the least likely people are actually pretty funny if they learned to articulate a little better. I’m not sure what I am. I’d like to think I’m funny, but then again reality hasn’t pressed that button yet.

 calvin-writing
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